Once upon a time I accidentally scared our kids with a beauty pageant


I was explaining to our daughter (and her brothers because they were in the same room) what a pageant is because we will be attending the Miss California Pageant to cheer on our cousin who is competing in Miss California Outstanding Teen (we are SO excited for her)!

I decided to show Natalie (parts) of the movie Miss Congeniality so she could get an idea of the different portions of the competition. 

The following conversation took place:

[watching portion of the movie where Sandra Bullock is showing the audience self defense]

"So is our cousin going to beat people up on stage?!"

"No."

"Then what's her talent?"

"Dancing."

"Ohhhh okay... So is she going to dance and then beat people up?!"

"No, she's just going to dance. The character in this movie is an under cover FBI agent. [Natalie looked confused]... She's like a police officer. And that's why she is currently fighting off this bad guy."

"Is there a bad guy at the pageant?!"

"No. This is just a part of the storyline for this movie. There aren't any bad guys backstage at the pageant we'll be attending."

"Oh I see... So is our cousin an FBI Agent?! Is she going to teach everyone how to beat up bad guys?"

"Noooooooo! Your cousin is a teenage girl. She's not an FBI agent and she won't be beating anyone up or fighting of bad guys. She'll just be dancing on the stage for her talent."

I wasn't paying close enough attention to where we were in the movie (from answering so many questions) but when I looked back at the TV the character Cheryl had just won the crown, Sandy B tackles her, throws the crown in the air and the stage blows up...

All 3 kids.... Completely silent. Mouths and eyes WIDE OPEN. Right as I was about to say something Natalie says,

"OH MY GOSH IS THE STAGE GOING TO BLOW UP WHILE OUR COUSIN IS ON IT?!

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I see this was a terrible idea to show you this mov..."

[Conner interrupts]

"Ummm... Does fire happen a lot at pageants?" Because dats not gonna be ver-wy good!"

MOM FAIL.


Our poor kids! I spent the next several minutes reassuring them that their cousin is not a butt-kicking FBI agent who wears a gun, catches bad guys and that the stage will not be exploding. Sheesh!

Next time I'll just show them video clips of pageants on YouTube. Lol

We're all praying and cheering for you, cous! We know you'll "kick butt!"  ;)

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